My Unfortunate Roll in History

It was fall of 1963 and I had recently returned from Las Vegas afer winning the "International How Many Poker Chips Can You Stuff Up Your Nose" competition. I had placed first by setting the world record at four chips. Anyway, my plane was routed through Dallas and I had four hours between flights. That's when I spotted this guy with a beard and polytails. It wasn't so much that, but rather the fact that we was wearing a green dress with a sash and a yellow beret. "Cookie, cookies. Get you somewhat freash in a box Sunshine girl cookies" he yelled in a voice that said I like cigarettes and vodka. Plus he smelled of motor oil. I approached him in order to acquire a cookie and ask for directions to the bathrooms. .."Never, mind that" he said. "How's about going into Dallas with me and helping to sell some cookies."..'Sure" I said. Afterall I had three hours. So we got into his black four door Lincoln Continental. "Jeez. The cookie buisiness sure must be treating you well. These cars cost a pretty penny" I mused. .."Pretty aint got nothin to do with it" barked Kevin, as he bit the head off of a Barbie doll and spit it at me. 'Now shut up and hum the Cuban national anthem". I didn't know the Cuban national anthem so I hummed 'I Feel Pretty'. Kevin didn't seem to notice. As we drove into town I was growing excited. I had never sold cookies before. We parked at the train yard and walked into what Kevin called Dealy Plaza. "Where are we gonna sell these cookies?" I asked. "On a street corner, in the mall, where?" Kevin looked around. "Up there, on that grassy knoll". It seemd like an odd place, but what did I know. Kevin opened the trunk and handed me a box of cookies and a high powered rifle with scope. "Why do we need a rifle?" I asked. "Its a promotional giveaway. Everyone who buys ten boxes gets a high powered rifle with scope" replied Kevin. "Sweet" I said and rubbed my hands together in that way that says 'I want that high powered rifle with scope'. We walked up the hill and stood behind a fence. I looked down into the plaza. I got the feeling that something important was going to happen, but I couldn't be sure. It was then that I heard what sounded like a motorcade approaching. Kevin picked up the rile and pointed it down into the plaza. 'Kevin, I don't think that's the best way to market our cookies. People may be put off by having a gun pointed at them. When people look to buy cookies they want to feel good and they want....".."Cram a sock in it Chatty Kathy!. I'm rying to blow the freakin' President's head off. Thank you!" screamed Kevin. And with that he fired the gun. I remember alot of screaming and Kevin running away and telling me to get lost. With that I went back to airport and took my plane home. Years later I was watching TV and saw that someone had shot President Kennedy. A thought crossed my mind. Could that bearded man in the dress have had anything to do with that? Well probably not as they seemd to have found some edgey drifter who liked stacking books and pinned it on him. But something still tells me that Kevin may not be the cookie salesman that he claimed to be.