Monkey Lunch

I was working the late shift at the plant and sweating to beat the band. Nothing says heat wave like a factory full of monkeys. As I was loading the last of a batch of prime monkeys unto a truck for delivery, I noticed someone sitting behind a crate. I walked over and there sitting on the ground, knitting a camel hair coat was Claudia. Of course I didn't know her name at the time but I assure you I shant never forget it. After a series of introductions I asked what she was doing. She told me that she was on her break and liked to spend that time knitting winter coats. She also told me that if I didn't mind my own business she would introduce me to the working end of a crochet needle. I just got out of there. Later on that day I was busy polishing a new order of monkey that had just come off the line. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see that it was Claudia. She asked if I was hungry. I said that I was but that it was only ten minutes till lunch so I would just wait until then. Claudia looked both ways before telling me that she couldn't wait. She was hungry now and that only one thing would satisfy her, a hot monkey sandwich. No way I said. Sure, hot monkey sandwiches are a true treat. But we could get in real trouble for eating monkey at work. She put her hands on her hips and laughed maniacally. No one was going to know. She extended her arms and there on a plate were two halves of a hot monkey sandwich. Man, I can still smell the monkey. I gave in to the urge. No sooner had I swallowed my first bite than old Mr. Jenkins came around the corner. He was furious. He yelled and yelled about how it was company policy never to eat monkey at work. Then he fired me. I would never polish a monkey again. I'm not sure what happened to Claudia. I heard that she finally went mad and tried to kill the Czar. A real shame that. Since I believe somebody had already done that in 1919.